Crafting a Childhood

It’s so easy to go down the rabbit hole of questions before the baby comes. How do I plan a baby shower? What are the essentials he might need in the first few months of life? How do I use a breast pump? Was that a kick, or was that just indigestion?

We’re already knee-deep in baby shower preparations, and things keep coming: more ultrasound appointments, sugar checks, blood tests, nesting, and more inevitable planning.

In the midst of all this flurry, I think to myself, what are the things that matter to me, and how do I prepare for them?

I listed down a lot of questions, and I realized that in becoming a mother, I needed to prepare for these 4 roles.

1. The Student
How much do I need to learn before my baby arrives?
Will reading books actually make me a better mom?
If I read this book, will it better equip me for this role?

I have a lot of things to learn, still. I’m excited, but I’m scared. I know it’s good to prepare and study for what’s to come, but can I really be that “ready?” Do I have the confidence to put on the shoes and just… be? I can load myself with information and still not be ready. What I need to prepare is the confidence to let my instincts guide me, and of course, an open but discerning mind and heart to listen to those who have done this before me.

2. The Teacher
How do I start teaching my child to read?
How can I make him excited to learn?
What matters more: academics or curiosity?

I identify myself as a Froebelian Educator. When I studied Elementary Education, I easily resonated with Friedrich Froebel, who believed that a child is like an unfolding flower. His philosophy held that a child, in the right environment, with the right attention, and at their own pace, will discover their unique abilities.

I think, rather, I hope I'm ready to be that kind of educator for my child. I want him to explore the world with curiosity and eagerness to learn. I don't know what level my child would be at on standardized tests, but I can only hope to be as encouraging as he needs me to be.

3. The Safe Place
How do I become someone my child trusts?
How do I discipline without damaging the connection?
How do I make home feel emotionally safe?

Every generation of parents thinks they've unlocked the code to parenthood. I wouldn't be surprised if the tables turn on me too.

I don't exactly know how to gain a child's trust. Well, I do, in a classroom setting. But when you're with them 24/7, it's hard to build that credibility when they see you in all your flaws. How do you make them trust your word?

I have but a faint idea of what I want to do and how I want our relationship to go, guided by the things I saw in others that I didn't like. For example, I don't want our relationship to be ruled by fear. I want him to see me as a fellow learner and explorer of the world, and not as a firm hand with an iron heart.

4. The Memory Maker
What makes a childhood feel rich?
Is it activities?
Is it time together?
Is it freedom?
Is it traditions?

I want a childhood he will fondly look back on. I want him to look back on his time with us and think, wow, I had a happy childhood. I want moments that count. I want to craft a childhood he will cherish.

Obviously, I don't know how to do that. All I know is that I have to try my very best. Maybe I don't need to be perfect. I just need to ... what is it that I need to do? Maybe it's to go back to this moment when I had all these aspirations of what I wanted to do for him. Maybe, when I get lost, I'll need to revisit July 2026 Steph and ask her what she would do in that situation. If there's anything I've learned in the lessons life has thrown at me, it's that when you're lost, go back to your core. I know this isn't about me, and it won't be until he no longer needs me as much. What I'm trying to say is, I hope my love for him will be enough.

I hope that, writing this, everything I do will be because of my love for him and my desire for nothing but the best for him. I don't want actions fuelled by anger. I want a crafted childhood founded on love, care, and understanding.

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